Last week we traveled from Syracuse to Pompeii and Naples. As normal my idiocy produced several “learning moments,” i.e., the moments after the cursing ends.
- Disregard whatever you read online about Italian bus schedules and destinations. Even Mussolini couldn’t make the buses run on time.
When making a connection with a new mode of transportation (such as the ferry from Sicily to Naples), use a Google map and street view to figure out in advance where you are supposed to go. This is particularly helpful at night when you are wandering around the docks as the boat is about to sail off and your wife is beginning to doubt that you are in fact master of the universe. Better yet take a taxi which will deliver you and your reputation intact.
- Never depend on an Italian man for directions. His answer always seems to be “and it’s right there.” In their former lives, they must have been guides for Moses in the desert. The only people worse were Mexican males, whose uniform response was “todo derecho” (straight ahead). Mexican men could never admit that there was something that they didn’t know, particularly when they didn’t know it. Strangely, women from both countries have an ability to say they don’t know when they don’t know.
- If you travel by bus, always buy a return ticket. When ret
urning from Pompeii, we found the correct bus stop and the correct schedule, only to be rejected by the bus driver for not having tickets. You can buy tickets at tabaccherias (tobacco shops sell everything), but those tickets are good only for two hours. We waited two hours in the rain for a second bus that never came.
- After buying a train ticket, make sure that you have it validated. An unvalidated ticket won’t stop you from getting on the train, just getting off. And god knows we all have enough problems getting off these days.
After my third back operation, I have been using a walke
r for any distance over 100 meters. It is a fancy Swedish model suitable for cobble stones and running over small children, but it still works better in handicap friendly conditions. Italy, however, is only semi-disability friendly. That is, the nation has been working on the problem, but it has run out of money like it has for almost every public investment: roads, bridges, hospitals, museums, lighting in freeway tunnels, etc. Be prepared for handicap walkways that abruptly end, elevators that are out of order, and train stations that require you to carry your walker up and down flights of stairs.
Commuter trains in Italy are almost as bad as commuter trains in the United States. The stations are brightly painted in totally unimaginative graffiti. The seats appear to transmit any number of serious diseases (plague being one of the better scenarios). And homeless people have set up camps at the entrances to urban train stations. Just like home sweet home.
Yikes! Glad you both made it through.