The Voyage of the Darned

51̊ 13″ S
74̊ 09″ W

This is the 5th day of sailing. The ship is moving through the Canal Sarimento in the Chilean fiords towards Punta Arenas and Penguin City. The archipelago is made up of a series of steep granite islands, some completely covered by low shrubs and trees, others of exposed rock. In the distance, the islands appear like Chinese paintings.

Yesterday, we cruised by the Tempanos Glacier. The melting glacier left the channel waters a milky turquoise. As we were eating dinner, a double rainbow with the strongest and sharpest array of colors that I have seen appeared just outside our window, seeming to follow us along for several miles.

On the other hand, our first two ports of call have been disappointing, The national park that surrounds Puerto Montt was ablaze, filling the bay with smoke. The captain decided against ferrying passengers into the town, as there was a danger of the fire cutting off roads and stranding passengers.

The second port of call was Puerto Chacabuco, the smallest of all our stops. We disembarked, walked around the small village, which was surround by steep mountains, glaciers, thick forests and the smell of fish. The walk around the village took us about 20 minutes. On the other hand. trying to get online at the local hotel took an hour and a half and led only to frustration. There were also 20 other passengers who also stopped at the hotel café and overwhelmed the weak wifi, so no one really got good access.

The ship charges you 75¢ a minute for internet, but the service is so slow, you can easily spend 15 to 20 minutes just trying to log on. The cruise line does its best to part passengers from their money through a casino (the one place where people are allowed to smoke), luxury shops, high prices for wine and alcohol, $4 for bottled water in your cabin, etc., etc.

Going on a cruise, at least a typical cruise, is not something that Toni and I would normally do. Three nights and fours days to the Caribbean is not particularly enticing. We prefer to go to a country, set up a base of operations, and converse with the natives, so we get a better understanding of the culture. Aboard ship, you are grouped with people from your country who speak your language. While not impossible, it makes it harder to get to know people from other countries.

Further, the Holland America Line (HAL as in 2001 Space Odyssey) specializes in senior travelers. So far, I have yet to see anyone under the age of 45. If there are any children, they are under lock and key, which actually is a sound policy now that I think about it. (That actually is untrue. One of the things that we missed about Mexico was parties where children, cousins and entire families participated.) As I look around at all the other alter cockers, I find it harder to deny that I am not really that old. Alter kockers are us.

The onboard entertainment is skewed to the over-65 set or at least what they think the older crowd would like: the Best of Lawrence Welk, “Thomas Kinkade: Painter of Life,” Jackpot Bingo, a Champagne Art Auction (with works painted to match your drapes), Cup Cake Teas, Pub Trivia, International Wine Tasting, International Beer tasting, a version of Dancing with the Stars, Martini Sampling, Karaoke Power Hour, etc.

The food goes a long way to make up for the entertainment. It is quite good and far, far too plentiful: breakfasts, brunches, teas, lunches, comidas, pre-dinner appetizers, any time buffets, never ending desserts, sip and sampling events, and a myriad of other opportunities to full you gullet. Yesterday, one passenger exploded, leaving shrapnels of fat embedded in the walls.

While the “Crossing” on the Queen Mary 2 was far more elegant and polished, it was also far more classist in the sense that the QM2 was designed to keep the hoi polloi out of sight as far as possible. There some things that I much prefer to our first “Crossing” on the Queen Mary 2. HAL does not segregate passengers by class and/or money to the same extent. On formal nights, those without tuxedos are not restrict to certain areas to avoid giving visual offense to our betters. All guests eat in the same dining room and drink at the same bars.

All in all, we are enjoying this cruise a lot. We do enjoy sailing on the ocean, complete with the gentle sway and the occasional rough waters. There are some places that can only be seen and experienced by ship. The view from our porthole is stunning, and even if we are not able to meet more Chileans and Argentines, it is also fascinating talking to people whose lives have been so different than ours.

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